Trust

There are many things in life we can't control.  In fact, most things in life we can't control.  We often trust the things we can control and question the things we cannot. But usually when we give up control and TRUST that God will take care of us, things turn out not only better, but the way He intended.  So why is it so hard to give up control?

The last 6 months have changed my life dramatically.  One of the biggest ways is that having a child has depend my faith in a way I never imagined.  When you experience the wonder of one tiny cell growing within your womb and becoming a tiny human it leaves a mark deep in a mother's heart.  A mother has a bond with her baby that is unique to their relationship.  As a baby grows within you, it is you.  You breath, eat, sleep, use the bathroom for your baby.  Just as God and His Son are one.  You move together, think alike, yet you're two separate people. Just like God and His Son.

Another way it has changed my life is that I've had to give up control and TRUST.  Trust that when I leave my baby with someone else he will be cared for.  When I leave this tiny thing I grew for 9 months and then spent countless hours feeding, rocking, holding, smelling, cuddling with someone else I have to have trust.  We have now had 5 different people care for Elias in the last three months.  We are finally settling into long term care for him and took him to a new daycare last week.  You would think after leaving him with 4 different people before this it would get easier.  Well it didn't.  When I dropped him off Tuesday morning if felt like a body part was being ripped off.  To leave my precious baby with someone I don't know is having complete TRUST.   I love my little boy more than I have ever loved anything.  I'm not even sure I comprehend the love I have for him.  How much more does God our Father love us?