I can hardly believe it's true. Four months already. My thoughts and feelings are jumbled up and all over the place tonight. My little boy seems to have doubled in sized in the last couple of weeks. Just when I think he can't get much bigger I'm stretching his onsies to fit him just one more time. Elias giggled for the first time this weekend at his daddy. What a wonderful sound! He's also exploring his voice and becoming quite curious about the world. We enjoyed a visit with Adam's parents this past weekend. They were staying in Ocean City for a car show. We'll get to see my parents on Friday when we go to Johns Hopkins for an appointment for Elias. He continues to have spells of pain and had a pretty bad one this past Sunday. After feeding him we started our 30 min ride back home. He started frantically screaming. I climbed in the back seat to offer some comfort but it didn't help. After about 10 minutes Elias was covered in sweat and I was broken down. It's not easy to watch your baby in pain and not have any comfort to offer. Hopefully, we will get some direction on Friday.
The demands of being a working mom continue to overwhelm me. Balancing work, baby, cleaning, laundry, groceries, doctors appointments and visiting family and friends has left me giving up things of less priority. I used to cherish my time at the gym, going four times a week. Now I dread my twice a week visits. I've turned down many leisure activities attempting to simplify my life the best I can. Or at least put things aside that can wait until my baby has grown up. Even though Elias requires a lot of attention, when I'm away from him he's all I think about. I can't wait to get home to his precious face.
It's definitely a two person job to be a parent. I'm so thankful for Adam and the daddy that he is. Elias loves all his funny voices and playful attitude. He is what I am not and I'm glad to have such a amazing partner for this journey!
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