Video's!!!!!!

Here's Goliath in the bouncer. He friggin' loves this thing (Yes, this is Adam posting). This was taken before Halloween I think...



And a video of him laughing... this was taken about 10 minutes ago. He just kept doing it, so I figured I better get it on video, and he kept on going. He's got such a cute laugh. Even if you hate babies you have to admit that's a cute laugh!

Family of 3

 It's a strange feeling to realize that you have not thought about your baby for the past 10 seconds.  This has happened to me twice in the last 5 months. Once was this past weekend at my parents house.  My Aunt and Uncle from Oregon are on the East Coast so we all met at my parents for a long weekend.  I was sitting on the couch and Elias was in the other room with my mom when it hit me, I hadn't thought about him for a few seconds.  Completely trusting to my core that he was okay.  Letting myself, for the briefest of moments, relax.  When I mentioned it to Adam he commented "oh, I forget about him all the time".  As a mother I have never forgotten about my baby.  With the exception of those few seconds, I think about him every minute of every day.  Sure I think about work or dinner or the conversation I'm having but my thoughts always turn back to my baby boy.  So it occurred to me that it's official, we're a family of three.  I've finally settled into my new role and the great responsibility of being a mommy.  I've come to terms with the fact that my mind will never be mine again.  Swirling around in my brain are thoughts of meal times, when the last diaper was changed, what he's doing when I'm at work, if I fed him the right thing, left enough milk, or if he needs me.  I love Elias more deeply than I've ever loved anything.  Finding your soul mate is an incredible love but the love you have for something that you created is beyond what words can describe.  So how is it that God gave up his only Son, from His own being, to become like us?

Peas

Elias had his 4 month well check yesterday. He weighs 17lbs 12oz and is 26.5 inces.  He's growing well!!  We can start solid foods and last night he had peas for the first time.  He acctually liked them!  He's been such a sweet baby this week.  It's so fun to watch him discover his world.  His favorite toys right now are his hands and our hands.  This morning when I was feeding him he got distracted when his hand caught his eye.  He was so amazed with this thing attached to him.

Giggles

I've always thought baby giggles were the best thing ever invented.  Working with kids I get to hear lots of baby giggles and I always want to bottle them up for when I need to be reminded of the simpler things in life.  But nothing compares to the sound of your own baby's giggle!  The thought of it is enough to warm my heart.  Elias has just figured out how to laugh and it is the cutest thing I've ever heard!  Daddy's pretty good at getting the giggles going but Mommy usually gets the face in the pumpkins...

Colic??

Elias had his appointment this past Friday at Johns Hopkins.  The Doctor we met with was not surprised by the behaviors Elias has been displaying.  He is growing well which rules out most problems related to any GI issues.  Which basically points us to two likely reasons for Elias's discomfort.  One being reflux and the other being just plain old colic.  If reflux were the issue we would likely see more consistent spells, like after every feeding for example.  The randomness of the episodes is more characteristic of colic.  We did make some medicine changes though to optimize what he is taking.  Basically, we have a high needs baby who likes to scream his head off.  Against popular opinion, or at least what I thought, colic doesn't have to happen at the same time everyday and can be associated with screaming as if the baby is in pain though there is nothing medically wrong. 





So I'm learning a lesson...things are not always as they seem.  Braxton Hicks can be just as intense and close together as real contractions (if you don't know, I had Braxton Hicks for about 15hrs that were just as painful as real contractions).  And a baby seemingly in pain can be perfectly healthy.  I'm relieved that there is nothing 'wrong' with Elias!  But I never thought my baby would be one of' 'those' babies.  Or that if I did have one of those babies that I would know what to do.  We have some good friends who are expecting their first baby and they often ask advice or questions about baby gear and how to handle a baby.  I always say to them that I believe God gave us a high needs baby because he knew we could handle it.  He never gives us more that we can handle. In the fist chapter of James it says "You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows it's true colors".  God knows that these difficult months will be over soon and that if we turn to Him and lean on each other we will stand stronger when we get to the other side.  It's been taxing on us emotionally, physically, and relationally. One day Elias will be full of personality, curious, and lively.  Our job as his parents is to train and guide him to be filled with the personality, curiosity, and life of our Creator.  Our precious baby boy's name means 'speaker for God'.  All the work that I imagine God having for him is nothing compared to the work God has in store for him.  His dreams for Elias are so much more that I can imagine and I'm so thankful that God is allowing me and Adam to be a part of that dream.

So please pray for Adam and I as we continue our journey as parents.  I think we have our work cut out for us...

4 months old

I can hardly believe it's true.  Four months already.  My thoughts and feelings are jumbled up and all over the place tonight.  My little boy seems to have doubled in sized in the last couple of weeks.  Just when I think he can't get much bigger I'm stretching his onsies to fit him just one more time.  Elias giggled for the first time this weekend at his daddy.  What a wonderful sound!  He's also exploring his voice and becoming quite curious about the world.  We enjoyed a visit with Adam's parents this past weekend.  They were staying in Ocean City for a car show.  We'll get to see my parents on Friday when we go to Johns Hopkins for an appointment for Elias.  He continues to have spells of pain and had a pretty bad one this past Sunday. After feeding him we started our 30 min ride back home.  He started frantically screaming.  I climbed in the back seat to offer some comfort but it didn't help.  After about 10  minutes Elias was covered in sweat and I was broken down.  It's not easy to watch your baby in pain and not have any comfort to offer.  Hopefully, we will get some direction on Friday.

The demands of being a working mom continue to overwhelm me.  Balancing work, baby, cleaning, laundry, groceries, doctors appointments and visiting family and friends has left me giving up things of less priority.  I used to cherish my time at the gym, going four times a week.  Now I dread my twice a week visits. I've turned down many leisure activities attempting to simplify my life the best I can.  Or at least put things aside that can wait until my baby has grown up. Even though Elias requires a lot of attention, when I'm away from him he's all I think about.  I can't wait to get home to his precious face.

It's definitely a two person job to be a parent. I'm so thankful for Adam and the daddy that he is.  Elias loves all his funny voices and playful attitude.  He is what I am not and I'm glad to have such a amazing partner for this journey! 

16 weeks old

Elias is growing so fast.  He is rolling over now, been eating cereal for a month and is getting very curious about the world around him.  His Aunt Kelli has been keeping him the days he's not at daycare with Miss Hailey.  He loves both of them and smiles when he hears their voices.  Some of the kids at Miss Hailey's have a nickname for him.  It started out as baby Goliath and has now turned into baby Golias.  We are waiting for a date from the Doctor to meet with a GI specialist and to have a CAT scan to rule out any serious issues that may be causing his screaming episodes.  They seem to be happening less often so we're hopeful that he is outgrowing whatever it is.  I've been busy making and freezing baby food in preparation for his next stage.  I'm not sure who's idea it was to make baby food but so far it hasn't been to bad.  I've done several kinds of squash, green beans, peas, spinach, sweet potatoes, and carrots.  Adam's parents are coming to a car show at the beach next weekend and we're looking forward to a visit with my parents when my Aunt Carla and Uncle Tom come from Oregon.